The ministry is the most important work you will ever do.
Serving the Lord is the greatest calling in life. I am humbled every day when I think that I get to serve the King of kings. The ministry to me is not a job, but a privilege. It should be treated with more respect than any secular job. You are working for the One Who died for you so that you could have a home in heaven. Our first desire should always be to please God. Before you can be a good ministry wife, you must first understand the importance of the ministry. Whether it is you or only your husband who is in full-time ministry, your purpose is to reflect Christ and lift the arms of your pastor and to make his load lighter.
I heard someone once say that your life is the only Bible some people will ever read.
In the ministry, your life will be under a microscope. There will always be someone watching you, looking up to you. It is important, not just as ministry workers, but as Christians to work at being Christ like and living a life that is pleasing to Him. In the ministry, we are training others to follow God, so we must make sure that we are walking right.
As we go through the different ministries over the next several blog posts, we see that each ministry has a different purpose. We must stay focused on our purpose. It is not our job to please people, but to please God. Be who God wants you to be, not just on the outside, but on the inside as well. Set goals for your life and keep them before you. Work at finding ways that God can use you. You can’t just sit back and say, “Okay, God, here I am. Use me.” You have to start doing so He can start helping. As the wife of a leader, you ought to have the desire to make a difference in other people’s lives. Jude 22 says, “And of some have compassion, making a difference.”
Each ministry requires different responsibilities. The most important thing to remember is that your first responsibility is to your husband.
I have enjoyed serving alongside my husband for the last 18 years, and he has remained my number one ministry.
God created woman to be a helpmeet. That was our sole purpose. As my husband’s helpmeet, it is my job to meet his needs first. No matter what ministry we serve in, that responsibility never changes.
I believe that I was not called to a specific ministry, but to a specific man. I know that no matter where I go or what church I’m in, if I am with Cameron Giovanelli, I am in the center of God’s will. The Bible says in I Corinthians 11:8-9: “For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” I was not blessed with amazing talents such as singing or playing an instrument. For a long time, that bothered me until I realized that my talent was being my husband’s completer. I was created for him.
As the wife of a man in the ministry, there will be times when your husband will need to put other people’s needs before yours. Don’t be a needy wife. Let him be who God needs him to be. He will have to deal with needy people on a regular basis, and he doesn’t need to come home to one. Don’t be a nag. There have been times that if I needed something done, I had to figure out how to do it myself because I didn’t want to nag my husband. When he has a “full plate” and lots on his mind, he doesn’t need me adding to his list of things to do. I once heard a preacher say that marriage is giving 100% and expecting nothing in return.
As a ministry wife, I have learned the importance of knowing when to speak and when to hold my tongue.
You must learn to communicate with your husband. Understand his mannerisms. Know when he needs time to think and pray and when he needs to talk. There will be many times, especially with counseling that your husband will not be able to share the things that are weighing heavily on his heart. Respect that.
As a ministry wife, our speech is also very important. The Bible says in Proverbs 8:6-8 that we should “speak truth and be filled with righteousness.”
If we are to represent Christ, then we ought to have the right speech and practice the law of kindness.
In the ministry, we must remember that we need to be prepared for good things that happen as well as the bad. Just as we are ready for the blessings of God, we need to be ready for the trials. How you handle a trial will define you. God will put you through things so that you can better minister to the people around you.
Remember that if you work on a staff, you ought to have a good work ethic.
You are working with God’s money. Make sure you are a good investment. You ought to have a reputation of being a hard worker. You cannot build anything worth having without hard work. Ministry work should be more important to you than counting hours and filling out a time card—it should be the desire of your heart. Make sure the work you do in the ministry is productive. As a ministry wife, don’t ever complain about your husband’s workload. Never talk negatively about your pay or your responsibilities. Always be optimistic! Incorporate purpose and determination into your everyday life.
As a staff member, you ought to be self-motivated. Have an enthusiasm when it comes to ministry work. Always be looking at how you can be a better staff member or ministry wife. Be independent of the crowd. Don’t be afraid of a challenge. Strive for excellence in everything you do. Set goals and have the self-discipline to reach them.
Life in the ministry can sometimes be very public.
Everyone is watching your relationship with your husband, how you raise your children, how you respond to situations. Work at keeping your private life private. Your husband and children need to have a safe haven where some things just stay in the family. It is hard to have a “best friend” in the ministry because of this. Your husband should become your best friend. Protect your home and your family. Let your kids be kids. Don’t ever make your kids think that they can’t do something because “daddy’s in the ministry.” Instead, teach them the importance of the ministry. Tell your kids, “The ministry is GREAT!” And then live that way. Don’t discuss the negatives of the ministry with your children. Your children will often see the hurt that someone may cause you in the ministry; they need to know that God is in control of the situation. We have to constantly live before our children that the ministry is a very great and wonderful thing.
In the ministry, your children will be watched. People will expect your children to have higher standards because of your husband’s position. That’s okay. Your husband is in a position of leadership. Those who are following our example should have a higher standard to reach. Work at training your children correctly. Be willing to live life at a higher standard. Having a higher standard should not be something that is hard. We should have the desire to do whatever we need to do in order to be the best leader and example that we can be.